Well, there is no single right answer to this question. A lot people are not happy because they are in pain or undergoing some bad experiences. In this situation, happiness is difficult to achieve because their needs are lacking and will be unhappy until it can be fulfilled. However, if you are quite comfortable with your lives, but still wondering how to make yourself happy, maybe this 2 questions will help you to better understand your feeling.
1. “Why must I feel happy?”
Everyone will say that they want to be happy in life. They always want to feel good about themselves, positive about the future and free of pain. While avoiding pain is hardwired in our brain, what about positive feelings? Do we really need to feel we are at cloud nine for every single minutes we are awake? Is this even realistic?
The ways happiness is projected on media are often misled us into believing that happiness is our constant need. The reality is that life is not about being happy all the time. As we live in this world, pain is part of lives. We do, on average, need to feel happy or good about ourselves, as depression is awful. But it is not as urgent and vital as the feeling of hunger or thirst. However, there are other different needs that also needs to be fulfilled, like human connection, self-fulfillment activity, sense of purpose, etc. Maybe it is this kind of needs that needs to be fulfilled but we just don’t realize it. After all, it is easier to take shortcut and relies on a wide and abstract idea, like happiness.
2. “What happiness can bring for me?”
If you are certain that you really need to be happy, then try to think what happiness can bring for you. Can happiness really change your life?
There are different definition of happiness from different point of view. Happiness can be seen as positive feeling, joy, satisfaction or the opposite of sadness. What truly causes happiness also differs for each people personally. According to one research, satisfaction of psychological needs can lead to happiness. There are also a lot of different theories of happiness on the internet.
However, happiness is not a cause, it is the result. To put it simply, you are feeling full because you had the roasted chicken for dinner. But, by feeling full, it won’t cause you to eat that roasted chicken. Unfortunately, it won’t be able to change the circumstances for you. Instead, it is the result of the desirable circumstances for you. Maybe what you want is not happiness, but other things that come with the idea of happiness. You can be more outgoing if you are happy? Maybe what you want is to be outgoing, not to be happy..
Bottom Line
It is important to remember that happiness is a temporary feeling. Like feeling of hunger and full, the feeling of happy will eventually regulate itself and pass away. That’s why it is hard to actually be happy all the time.
Well-A 