When we fall in love, it’s easy to forget who we are and just focusing on pleasing our partner. After all, they are our soulmates, so they should already know how to make the relationship works. Some people may say that boundaries make things to technical.
So how do we set a new boundaries in our relationship?
What’s important for you?
Rather than thinking about how the relationship should be, start thinking about what’s important for you. Some people may need special routines to feel loved, but do you really need that in relationship?
The opposite is also true. What is the thing that you want to have in this relationship? You don’t need to justify about your needs and goals. Remember, what you want and don’t want is part of you.
Am I being needy in relationship?
Most people are afraid to set boundaries because they worried that they may come accross as needy and clingy. Some worried that if they set boundaries, then everything will be over.
The truth is.. you have to look after yourself, before looking after another people. We can’t expect people to be responsible on our feelings. But, the opposite is also true. Think about boundaries as a method to reach common goals, healthy relationship. It’s not only serving you, but it will serving the other person as well.
Be honest with yourself and learn to negotiate
This is probably the most important point for a healthy boundaries. We have to be honest on what and why something is important.
But this is not enough. We also need to communicate this to our partner, which can be very hard. We have to be vulnerable enough to reveal our biggest fear and desire. But it doesn’t need to be done in a day. We can take it easy as things come up.
The best thing is, we can negotiate with the other person, which mean we can’t be too selfish or irrational in our boundaries.
Well-A 